he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
