I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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