we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
