you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
