she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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