Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
