pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
