$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
