Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
