He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
