Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
