She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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