I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
