He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
