no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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