I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
