Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
