ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
