I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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