Having a random hookup so left but love u
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize