ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
