I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize