I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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