told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
