how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
