I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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