where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
