There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
