at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
