on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
