Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
