i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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