guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i think my cat just said my name.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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