'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
