This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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