and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
