$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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