Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
