Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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