So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I looked at my own cervix.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
