So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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