I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
