accomplished twins. life is a go
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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