I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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