omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Someone shit on the floor
and you said cock pushups were impossible
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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