Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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