Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
