i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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