So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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