wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
