big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
