3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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