fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
