The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
