census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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