FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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