I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
