ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
