You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize