I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize