Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
