oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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