thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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