K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
