You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
