I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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