anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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