I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
