I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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