I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i came on her dog
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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