take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
