Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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