I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
