i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I want is dick and wine.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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