butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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